Some people have asked me how to start dating Japanese women, so I had a friend of mine write this quick guide to help you pick up Japanese girls while in Japan. If you’re looking to meet cute Japanese girls who are 18-23 years old and more your typical category of women (not looking for money, not looking to get married anytime soon) then this is for you and should give you insight to date Japanese women. I recommend staying away from the usual gaijin places since most of the girls who go there are either pretty dirty or just looking for money, plus there are a lot of foreign “bad apples” who go there, so those are not the best places for picking up girls in Japan.
Some of the areas that will work best for you are listed in this quick guide. They are the same names as the train stations so they should be easy to find. Most you can access using the Yamanote train line. I recommend this book – Nanpa: A Beginner’s Guide to the Japanese Art of Girl-Hunting and How To Pick Up Japanese Girls (Japanese Dating Phrases) which is available only on the Amazon Kindle.
Marunouchi/Tokyo – Mostly young women working in business, cute and intelligent with class and many will know at least some English if not fluent.
Ebisu/Hiro – More international areas. There are sophisticated young women, more trendy and have their own money/business or are students. Many will speak fluent English.
Shimbashi/Hamamatsucho – A little more international with young women working in business. Intelligent and some will know a fair amount of English.
Shinagawa/Osaki – More business areas, fairly international and many will know some English.
Ginza – A high-class area with many women who are trendy, classy and sophisticated though a more snobbish crowd stays around this area.
Areas that are worth checking out (but not really for picking up girls) are Shibuya and Shinjuku. These areas will have a lot of girls who work for hostess clubs and they’re only looking to snag a lot of your money. The type you’re probably looking for doesn’t tend to stay in these areas. Though Shinjuku has a huge mix of different women, many are very young, less sophisticated or work in the adult entertainment business.
For the type of Japanese girl you would like to meet, you shouldn’t be too bold since many of the young women in Tokyo are very shy and embarrass easily. Start with some simple conversation and try to use some Japanese if you know some. If you don’t, at least listen to Pimselur’s Japanese to get some exposure. Many young women, even the ones who understand English pretty well are still shy to use it in front of native English speakers, so some Japanese will certainly make them feel more relaxed.
Touch is a pretty big thing for many people in Japan (especially since there’s a lot of inappropriate touching in Tokyo trains) so flirty touches that work with more foreign women doesn’t work as well with Japanese. Be gentle and patient to ease into that sort of thing.
The majority of Japanese women are used to people trying to pick them up, so being obvious may immediately bring their guard up, so starting out friendly and asking for help or advice about something or the area will help chat them up. If you look too confident with yourself, many girls will immediately shy away, so if you can make yourself a little vulnerable, especially by making an effort to talk in Japanese, they’ll feel much more at ease.
The most important thing to do is really observe the girl’s actions and expressions. Japanese women are generally more uncomfortable in social situations without friends and the Japanese in general have subtle expressions and reactions to Western people, so if she’s uncomfortable, it may not be as obvious as with other women.
Another way you can date Japanese women is by meeting them from a Japanese online dating site first and going from there. Some women are more comfortable chatting on IM and e-mail but you also a handful that’ll flake out when you’re ready to meet in person.
Good luck! And here’s a video where Japanese women were interviewed about their ideal man.
The Q&A section of my blog is kind of new. People like my “contact me” link on the blog! Every month I get asked some questions and many tend to be similar so I thought I’d share a few along with my answers.