Question:
Chris writes in – Hi, Steve. I really enjoy your blog I’ve read it a couple of times and I am thinking of an adventure to Japan. My question is… is there a way I can learn more of the culture? What I mean is, I wouldn’t want to offend anyone if I do go there. Is there a way to prepare myself so that I don’t offend them the day I step off the plane? Their culture is a more serious than living in the United States, I just don’t want to be a stereotypical clumsy American they seem to think of us as. I really enjoy their history and culture. So I may find myself over there sometime after I graduate next year.
Answer:
Hi Chris,
It’s great that you want to learn and understand Japanese culture before visiting. The culture is different than what I was used to, so it’s easy to offend somebody. For example if you slam a door by accident when you leave maybe somebody will think you’re upset with them and that will make them upset which results in them not talking to you for a few days for no reason. (This happened to me once)
Don’t forget who you are either, so if you’re awesome be awesome. Japanese guys seem to be shy or drawn back when you look at their body language but I think they’re strong verbally. Since I don’t speak Japanese well I can’t be strong verbally so I’m more aggressive using body language, but at the same time I’m not too invasive. I call this maneuver “just being myself”.
For learning about the culture you might search the internet or find a book about Japanese Culture. I read a book I bought in the travel section of a book store. If you can read Japanese already, you can find Japanese online newspapers here. Even when you’re ready you should be prepared to offend somebody on accident, it happens. Just stay positive and try to move on. In my opinion daily Japanese language and body language seems to land in the middle of the road, not an exact yes or no. Something I noticed is if somebody offers you something when visiting them, you should accept. If you offer somebody something (like food or a drink) and they say no, then offer it a few more times because they may be saying no to be polite. If you’re on a bus or train you should get up and offer your seat to women with children, older people. And if somebody says they’re going to do something with you, they might not follow through. It’s life. Hmm, what else, I bow when other people bow, and I use formal words most of the time because being super polite doesn’t offend people. There are a lot of silly and happy foreigners on TV, and I try to be happy and smile most of the time without going overboard. A few people have commented about this saying that it’s great because I’m happy like the people they are familiar with on TV, so you might keep that in mind. Nobody enjoys seeing grumpy, angry, rude, or sad people.
Also when you’re in Japan, look around at what others are doing and try to mimic their actions. People don’t liter and I notice people don’t often eat while walking or on public transportation among other things.
Relationships and marriage is another story. But to get you started in that area you could check out some Asian wedding favors.
(Photo from flickr)
